Should You Give Your Baby Up For Adoption? 5 Ways to Know

You Aren’t “Giving up” Your Child

We first want to address that the phrase “giving a child up” doesn’t necessarily paint the right picture. A more accurate way to describe the situation would be making an adoption plan or choosing adoption. Saying, “I’m ‘giving up’ my baby” may come with a specific connotation. But we want to reassure you that no matter your decision, you should ultimately decide what’s best for the child and you.

One option that many women consider for an unplanned pregnancy is abortion. Choosing this option would provide an immediate solution if you are early in your pregnancy, but it would come at the cost of ending their life and not giving them a future. Adoption can provide a way for them to live a fulfilling life and pursue hobbies, passions and a career and make a difference.

If you are pregnant and considering adoption, it doesn’t mean that you need to end all contact and connection with your child. There are different adoption options for pregnant mothers that will allow you to stay in touch with your child and their adoptive family.

With an open adoption, there will be ongoing contact in the form of letters, phone calls or in-person visits. The method and amount of contact is completely up to you. With a semi-open adoption, you’ll be able to communicate with your child and their new family through the adoption agency. No matter which you choose, you’ll still get to be a part of your child’s life while they are growing up.

We also want to stress that you aren’t “giving up” on your child — you’re gifting them the opportunity to be the new member of a loving family. Some parents may be struggling with ongoing infertility or may not be able to have a child on their own due to age or medical reasons.

That family could be a couple dreaming of becoming parents, ready to adopt and welcome a child into their lives. “Giving a baby up” for adoption means you’ll be making a selfless decision that allows a family to raise a child of their very own. Without adoption, they would never have a chance at having a family. You’re making a careful, generous decision that’s best for your baby based on your circumstances, which involve countless factors.

What Is Your Financial Situation?

If you’re considering adoption for your baby, the first thing you might evaluate is your financial situation. You probably already know that it costs a lot to have and raise a baby. Visits to doctors and maintaining your health while you’re pregnant can already add some financial strain. Add costs of delivering the baby and caring for them after, and you may find yourself in debt.

Having a stable income can be a comfort, but babies still come with a handful of expenses. Your exact costs change with where you live and your support system if you have one. In general, you’ll have to budget for these.

Housing: You might already have these expenses covered, but if you’d need to move somewhere new after having a child, you need to calculate new costs.
Food: If you’re planning to bottle-feed your baby, you’ll need to factor that cost in. On average, baby formula can cost between $1,200 and $1,500 in the first year. These expenses will only increase as a child gets older and needs to eat various solid foods.
Health care: Babies require frequent checkups, starting at birth, then three to five days after. From there, checkups are recommended at at 1, 2, 4, 6, 9, 12, 15 and 18 months old. You should then take your baby to the doctor every six months until they’re 3 years old, when yearly checkups might be OK. If your child has illnesses or other health concerns, you may have more frequent doctor’s visits.
Child care: If you’ll work after having your child and have no one to care for them while you’re away, you need to consider child care expenses. Day care tuition or babysitting fees vary greatly depending on your location and how long you need those services.
Education: Once a child is old enough to attend school, you’d have additional expenses to consider. Transportation to and from school, supplies and possibly tuition will all factor in.
Miscellaneous: Other costs associated with a new child might include new baby furniture, diapers, clothing and toys. Again, these costs vary with what you need and what you’d buy as extras for your child.

According to the United States Department of Agriculture, families making under $59,200 a year spend 27% of their income on a child. That means you’d need to budget roughly a quarter of your yearly income to go to caring for a child if you’re in that threshold.

Depending on your situation, you may have trouble returning to work after having a baby or late in your pregnancy. U.S. Census Bureau research shows women work less after giving birth, and even if they continue to work, their earnings may fall. Combining that with an already shaky financial situation or the cost of having a child can make choosing adoption an understandable option.

Are You Emotionally Ready for Parenting?

Ask yourself if you feel ready for parenthood now and for the rest of your life. The answer varies from person to person, based on unique situations. An unplanned pregnancy will already have you on an emotional journey. But carefully consider whether you feel ready to take on the responsibility that comes with a child.

Some people are ready for parenting, even if they experience an unplanned pregnancy. But parenting is a 24/7/365 job, even if you have a partner, family, friends or reliable child care to help support you. Your child is always your responsibility, no matter what.

It’s OK to ask for help at any point during your pregnancy and after. Whether that help is seeking emotional support or considering adoption for your baby, your goal is to choose what’s best for your child and you. If your past or present are impacting your feelings, you don’t want to expose your baby to that negativity.

While it can be a challenge to evaluate your emotional well-being to see if you’re ready to be a parent, it’s best for your child in the long run. And remember that you’ll want to feel stable enough to have a child, raise them and support them throughout the rest of your life.

You Aren’t Alone — Contact Abby’s One True Gift Adoptions

Once you think about “giving your baby up” for adoption, you may not know what to do next. First, take a deep breath and remember you aren’t alone. Many pregnant people make this loving decision. While it’s a challenging choice to make, it could be the best one for your child. If you are considering adoption for your baby and need to talk about your situation, Abby’s One True Gift Adoptions is here for you.

We’re available to talk 24/7. Text us at 515-778-2341 or call 866-973-5815. Our caring, compassionate professionals at One True Gift will walk you through your options, listen and answer your questions.

With our quick and simple 10-minute online birthmother application, you can get started and receive the support you need to make the best decision for yourself and your unborn child. LEARN MORE ABOUT ADOPTION and how working with Abby’s One True Gift Adoptions may be right for your child and you.

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Should You “Give Your Baby up” for Adoption?

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