July 31, 2013

Writing Your Adoptive Family Profile

Your family profile is one of the most important parts of your adoption process. It is how you are introduced to the family of your potential child, and it is a representation of you and your partner, the type of family you’re looking to have, and the type of parents you want to be. There is no doubt that putting your entire life into one compact document is stressful and nerve-wracking, but it’s also your first link to your birth family, so it should perfectly represent you and your family in the way that feels most comfortable. To help you get started, here are 5 tips for keeping the content of your profile genuine, relatable, and totally you.

1. Be honest. How many times have you talked to someone and you can tell they’re totally embellishing everything they say? Or they want to impress you so they’re trying hard to go overboard? If you can tell when someone is being over the top, so can your birth family. Birth families are looking for real, genuine people who they can see parenting their child – not the caricature of a perfect family. Be just how you are, and represent your family just how it is. That honesty shines above all else.

2. Show your personality. Are you passionate, funny, high energy? Let it shine! You don’t know how many profiles a birth family will have looked through by the time they get to yours. Birth families want to see who you truly are, and if you can infuse that in your profile it will stand out, trust us. Be funny! They are just as nervous as you are – laughs are always an ideal way to break the ice.

3. Run your profile by trusted friends and family. Every good writer has a good editor, and no one is fit to be the editor of your own life story better than friends and family you trust. Show them your profile and ask them for their honest opinion – you might be surprised at the opinions they have or tidbits they think to share. It never hurts to get an outside opinion, especially in this case.

4. Include unique bits of information. As much as you want your profile to represent your family, you also want it to stand out. Don’t be shy in sharing details! Is there a quirky habit you and your partner enjoy? An interesting way you met? Items on your bucket list you’ve always wanted to accomplish, and hope to share with your new baby? These are wonderful things for a birth family to know. Not only does it paint a more intimate portrait of who you are, but it gives them information that will stick in their mind, which is exactly what you want your profile to accomplish.

5. Take your time. This is not something that should be rushed off as quickly as possible. This is a huge, emotional project, and it deserves time and care as it is being developed. Go through as many rounds as it takes to make you feel comfortable, and don’t feel bad about tweaking it or sharing it with others until it’s exactly where you want it. Of all the things you should be confident about it, it should be your profile. Give it all the time it deserves.

Have fun! An adoptive family profile is meant to be a heartfelt depiction of your life – embrace the project and enjoy it. Think of the wonderful gift you’ll receive as a result, and it will all be so worth it.