December 05, 2016

Why you should be relying on your resources

Adopting a child is a GIANT life change. Not just emotionally, but logistically, legally, socially, and physically. It affects every single aspect of your life, and that’s why we advocate for anticipating the needs of your adoption process before, during, and after, and gathering the appropriate resources to support you throughout.

So what are your resources, exactly? They’re all around you! First and foremost, they are in your adoption specialist and the team of individuals working to help secure your adoption. You should never feel like you’re asking too many questions. They (we!) are there (here!) to help you every step along the way. Not only to ensure you have the adoption process you desire, but that you have a safe space to articulate fears, concerns, moments of joy, and questions. We are here for you to rely on, and you should never feel as if you’re going through this process on your own.

We also recommend surrounding yourself with literature about the process — not just adoption, but parenting in general. When it comes to adopting or becoming a parent, what are you most concerned about? What are your greatest fears? Lucky for you, it’s very likely that somewhere, someone else has endured a similar process and has some wisdom to share. You are venturing into a great unknown, especially if this is your first time parenting a child. Books, blogs, and columns (from reputable news sources) can offer a boon of information and comfort.

Your legal team and tax advisors are also of the utmost importance. These are the individuals who will help you best deal with many of the most confusing aspects of the adoption process — its legalization and the way in which it affects your taxes. You don’t want to overlook the importance of either, and that’s why finding someone with whom you feel safe and secure is key. You should feel comfortable asking questions, in addition to having the information presented to you in ways that make sense. Legal and financial jargon can muddy the waters for people who aren’t familiar with that language. You want to ensure you’re working with individuals who communicate compassionately and have your very best interests at heart.

Have you thought about connecting with other parents! How about looking around your community for local adoption meet-ups or parenting groups? Having support is important, but having the support of individuals who are in a similar position to you is even more vital. This is true camaraderie, and their presence will be so valuable as you move through the peaks and valleys of the adoption process. Like with any emotional journey, there are highs and lows, and having individuals in your life to support you through the glorious and the tough times is so important. Not to mention…you deserve it!

Above all, you want to make sure you have a plan. Anticipate the needs you’ll have during and beyond your adoption process and make sure you’re armed with the knowledge and support to endure whatever comes your way. You can’t take care of yourself, or your future self, too much in this regard. It takes a village, they say. No harm in making sure your village is fully stocked and ready for action.