May 31, 2011

TMI

I recently bumped into one of our adoptive moms. She divulged that she and her husband, obviously the adoptive dad, were divorcing. News of a divorce is never fun to hear, but pretty common in our day and age. The knowledge that one of our adoptive couples is divorcing felt really personal. For sure, this is not the first of our families to go through a divorce, but rarely do we hear about it. I almost wish I didn’t have the intel. Why this feels more personal than my sister divorcing is a paradox to me. Their adopted son is 4 years old. He is healthy and happy. They are sharing custody and the proceedings have been very civil. Even with all of that, I feel in momma bear mode. The welfare of this family (and all of our families for that matter) is of the utmost concern to us. We feel a personal responsibility to the families and the children we help place with them. We always want to know that these children are thriving and happy. Now there is no reason to believe that this boy won’t continue to thrive and live a very happy life in spite of the divorce, but we all know there are effects of divorce on children. We also discussed notifying their birth mother had the placement been open. While they did meet her at the birth, the birth mother chose a closed adoption. Besides, it doesn’t feel like our place to pass along this kind of information about a family. After all, I wouldn’t have ever known had I not been in that place at that time, right? Our business is fraught with emotion. We work with everyday people trying to live the best lives they can. Unfortunately, this is just part of it.