April 26, 2017

National Infertility Awareness Week

This week is National Infertility Awareness Week, which honors and brings awareness to the 1 in 8 couples who are struggling to create a family. That’s a total of 15% of couples in America.

The adoption world is no stranger to infertility, as so many couples turn to adoption after a painful experience with infertility—a process that can take over some family’s lives for years. We’ve spoken with countless individuals about their struggles, and it is a deeply motivating factor behind what we do and why we do it. Not all couples come to adoption because of infertility, of course, but it is our mission to help provide all individuals the family they dream of.

The theme for this year’s National Infertility Awareness Week is “Listen Up,” and it’s an important one. So many struggling with infertility are also struggling with the silence around this issue. It’s a tough topic to discuss, and one that often induces shame, fear, insecurity, self consciousness. Those on the other side often just don’t know what to say.

What this issue desperately needs is advocacy. Advocacy for the families struggling, so they can be aware of their options and where to turn to for support. And advocacy for people who want to help those in their lives affected by infertility, but simply don’t know how.

That’s why listening is such a beautiful place to start. Listening without judgment, without thinking about what to say next or what kinds of questions you “should” ask. Listening honestly, openly, and without the need for anything in return. Being comfortable with silence. Fully admitting you have no idea how it must feel. Not offering platitudes about waiting, or the good that’s to come. When you’re in the midst of the struggle, none of those things matter. What matters is that there is someone there to hear you, to help absorb your pain, and to validate the tumultuous emotions driving through every cell in your body. Companionship. Quiet. Space. Trust. Support.

When you think about what it means to support someone struggling with infertility, you don’t have to be out there on the front lines, marching with signs. (Although no one will begrudge you that.) Sitting at a table with a hot mug of tea and an open ear can truly change a life.