October 16, 2018

Lessons We’ve Learned From Our Children

Adoption is filled with lessons, all day every day. But some of the most beautiful are those we learn from our children. Here are the ones that have touched us most.

Identity is a beautiful and evolving thing. From the very beginning of an adopted child’s life, their identity is so special and unique. And it impacts them in myriad ways. We love seeing how our children define themselves on their own terms, merging two different families and worlds into one. And we work everyday to ensure that they’re proud of that identity.

Differences should be celebrated. Our children come from different backgrounds and races, which means that we see a completely different world through their eyes. Their experiences have taught us so much about what you gain when you celebrate the differences of those around you, rather than fear them. Their stories have opened up life-changing conversations and relationships that we deeply value and cherish.

Think before you speak. As is often written about, people can say some pretty ludicrous things to adopted children and adoptive families. We know they don’t always mean harm, but we also know how it feels to receive those comments despite that. It’s made us think twice (and three and four times) before saying things to others, to ensure we’re speaking as sensitively and respectfully as possible.

Wow, is community important. We didn’t know how much we needed community until we adopted our children. The wide network of people who have supported our family has been one of the most beautiful gifts of our lives. In turn, we strive to ensure that our children have a solid support system, infusing their worlds with people they can relate to, and grounding activities and communities that help them thrive.

The hardest topics deserve the most honest conversations. Adoption has brought so many different conversations into our lives, and as we have navigated topics like racism, open adoption, our children’s first families, feeling different, and so much more, we have come to value honesty more than ever. They’re the most challenging conversations to have, but we have found that when we commit to approaching them with honesty and transparency, our family grows closer than we ever imagined.

These sweet kids. What would we do without them?