March 28, 2016
Hey, guess what? Childhood doesn’t have to be perfect!
It’s hard to be a parent right now. For about one hundred million reasons, but one of which being this need to create a completely ideal childhood for our children. In the age of social media — especially Pinterest — we’re seeing examples every single day of how everyone else is a perfect parent. The magical way in which they celebrate their children’s birthdays, decorate their rooms, or bring holidays to life. The wondrous crafts they spin from thin air on snow days or Spring break. How much more educated their child is than ours, a result, of course, of the perfectly PC, highly intellectual, and not even a little bit messed up childhood they’re providing because they have all the right answers at all the right times and have never, no never, made a mistake. Because isn’t it easy to be a parent?
Then, of course, there’s the nostalgia for years past. When kids roamed the streets freely, biking wherever they wanted without care, playing outside on summer nights with friends, no cell phones, no problem.
As a parent, everywhere you turn these days you’re either assaulted by the heroic parenting of others or driven into despair at the abject fear resulting from raising a child during a time where they can access just about any kind of information possible, thank you technology.
If we’re feeling the weight of these expectations, we know other parents have to be, too. And we are so thankful for those who are speaking out and empowering parents to not feel as if they need to give their kid the most magical, unscathed childhood in the history of the world. Who has that childhood, again?
This article in the Huffington Post speaks about this issue so eloquently. Her revelations about her own childhood, vs. what she should be expected to provide for her own children will certainly touch parents of all kinds.
“For a few years, I got caught up in the “Anything You Can Do I Can Do Better” parenting model, which mandates you scour Pinterest for the best ideas, execute them flawlessly, and then share the photo evidence with strangers and friends via blogs and Facebook posts.
Suddenly, it came to me: We do not need to make our children’s childhood magical. Childhood is inherently magical, even when it isn’t perfect. My childhood wasn’t perfect and we weren’t rich by any stretch of the imagination, but my birthdays were still happy because my friends came over. It wasn’t about the party bags, perfect decorations, or any of that. We popped balloons, ran around in the backyard, and we had cake. Simple. But when I look back on those times, they were magical.”
The Today parenting blog featured a similar article, with the writer talking about how when they were kids her mom would lock them outside to make their own magic. Now, it’s true that the realities of safety are very different now compared to what they were in the 80s, but the notion of releasing the pressure to be perfect still remains.
“And mamas and daddies? We get to jettison that manufactured guilt that tells us we aren’t doing enough, when in fact, no generation of parents has ever done more. (My friends in higher education are actually begging us to DO LESS PLEASE BECAUSE THESE CHILDREN DON’T KNOW HOW TO FILL OUT AN ONLINE FORM WITHOUT HELP.)
Let’s get our joy back and resist all this made-up stress! Let’s recapture the joy of watching kids play in sprinklers, build forts out of couch cushions, create dramatic “programs” (my parents have PTSD from ours), and run around the neighborhood with their friends. Let’s give them back the gift of imagination, self-sufficiency, creativity.”
If your kid is eating regular meals, is in school, and knows that they are loved, chances are you’re doing a pretty darn good job. Let’s all give each other a break and let our kids be kids, and the parents of the world free to be human. We deserve it.
