June 13, 2018
Getting Through Your Summertime Adoption Wait
Summer is a tough time to endure the adoption wait. Kids are out of school, families are going on vacation. It’s a time when families come together to do fun things and it can be heart-wrenching to see everyone doing all the things you wish you could do. It’s okay to feel bummed out. But you also don’t want to let the entire season pass you by in sadness and frustration. So how can you get through your adoption wait this summer? We have a few tips.
Plan a trip of your own. Studies have shown that anticipation is the best part of any upcoming vacation. Most people are actually happier before a trip than during it. It gives you something to look forward to, knowing that a new and exciting adventure is on the horizon. Making a decision to treat yourself also provides provides valuable claim and ownership over your life. Just don’t forget to buy trip insurance in case your little one does arrive unexpectedly!
Get into gardening. We know, it sounds like a lot of work. But a) that’s the point. (You’re looking for something to do, right?) And b) there’s something really beautiful about spending your summer watching something grow. Waiting to be matched for an adoption can feel stagnant, frustrating, like you’re stuck in limbo. And bringing something to life counteracts that. It’s a beautiful way to nourish your family, and if you’re really good at it you can share the bounty with family and friends!
Plan out your summer. Part of what is so frustrating about waiting to be matched is that you feel like you can’t plan anything. So do it anyway. Go on with your life like you normally would, Are there any outdoor concerts or films playing in your area? What sorts of festivals and fairs can you attend? What about jetting off for a long weekend to a nearby beach or lake house? Key in to the activities going on around you, add them to the calendar, and then rally your friends and family to join in. This helps in a lot of ways. It ensures you’re not left alone on a Friday, without plans, feeling sad and frustrated. And it also gives you a roster of things to look forward to. It diversifies your days, bringing new activities and experiences into the mix, and keeps you engaged with your community.
All in all, we wholeheartedly agree with the advice from this mom who’s suffered the wait before, featured in Adoptive Families’ fabulous article “Coulda, Woulda, Shoulda” — which shares advice from parents who’ve been through the wait about what they would have done differently.
“During the wait, I wish I had gone out to dinner with my husband more, spent more time with my best friend, worried less about not getting a referral, gone on a few vacations, exercised, and focused on living for the day, not for the future. —Sherry Sevy”
You may be waiting to adopt, but your life is still yours. Go out and live it!
