April 20, 2012
Finding Your Birth Parents: The Art of Patience
Often times, our content is geared towards adoptive families, so when we found this article: “Finding your birth parents: Learning how to be patient” on the Eastern Echo, we thought about all the other stories that need and deserve to be told as well.
What’s so inspiring about this article is Jaleesa’s (an adoptee looking for her birth family) overall positive take on her search. Of course there were moments when it was fraught with sadness and frustration:
“After a couple hours of this, I dropped my head in my hands in exhaustion. The tears started to make trails down my face and neck, and that’s where it happened: I let the questions of my heart take over in my mind. All this time with the process going so smoothly, I never gave the deep questions of my heart a second thought so they wouldn’t damper my hope and enthusiasm.
But when the questions began to flood in my mind like a tidal wave, I didn’t have the strength to contain it any longer. Why was I the one doing this? She told me she wanted to meet me; did she change her mind? It’s not like I’m five; they had 22 years to try to get in contact with me. They were the adults, so why am I showing that I care that much to do something that they didn’t even want to do? Yeah, I know. I ask the questions with the hurtful answers. That was all it took to give up and throw in the towel.”
But she understood the importance of a support system, that seeking out your birth parents is a process — often a long process — and that as long as she had faith and patience, she would be able to make it through.
The notion of patience doesn’t just apply to the adoptee’s journey — it applies to everyone involved in the adoption triad. We must always remember that whether you’re waiting for a child, waiting to find your birth parents, or waiting to find the perfect adoptive family for your child — patience is a virtue. A difficult journey to bear sometimes, but with the right attitude, it’s always a blessing in the end.
