February 14, 2018
Finding Self-Love in the Adoption Process
Happy Valentine’s Day!
We’re big believers in self-love, and there are few times you need it more than during the adoption process. It’s hard. It’s stressful. And especially when you’re going through a home study or waiting to be matched, having someone examine every aspect of your life can make you feel insecure and unsure. Not to mention you’re putting all of your energy into showing love to everyone else, and proving to others how much love you have to give, that it’s easy to forget the quintessential relationship we have is the one with our self.
Rather than letting yourself get lost in the process, it’s vital to find ways to show yourself some love. It keeps things in perspective, it promotes happiness and stress relief, and it will ultimately make you a better parent. What a wonderful thing to pass down to a child: showing them, by example, what it means to take care and love yourself.
So how can you do that?
Be selfish. Do something every day that makes you happy. Whether it’s fixing a special meal, taking yourself on a walk, going to a yoga class, or indulging in a TV show you love, find a moment each day to put yourself above everything else on your to-do list and to enjoy something you really love.
Talk kindly to yourself. A friend asked us the other day, “Think about how you talk to yourself. Would you talk to your six year-old self that way?” When you put it that way, it’s pretty horrifying the way we treat and talk to ourselves. One of the greatest ways you can practice self-love is by actually talking to yourself like you love yourself. Revolutionary, isn’t it?
Call a friend. Did you know that loneliness is a health epidemic? According to the New York Times, it is “associated with a reduction in life span similar to that caused by smoking 15 cigarettes a day and even greater than that associated with obesity.” That’s devastating. If you can’t get motivated to do it for yourself, do it for you little one on the way. Social interaction is fundamental to happiness. This is a non-negotiable. So call that friend you haven’t seen in a while and ask them out for a cocktail or a coffee. Your life depends on it!
Get a little bit of sun every day. The outdoors are immensely rejuvenating for our health. The problem is that most of us spend our time sitting indoors at computers. Even if it’s just for a quick 15 minute stroll, get outside everyday, stretch your legs, breathe in some fresh air, and allow it revitalize you.
Go on a date! Whether it’s with yourself, your spouse, a best friend, or your mom. Go on a date. Put on something that makes you feel wonderful, pick a new place to explore, and get out of your routine and into something new. And then make it a regular habit.
Looking for more ways to up your self-care habits? Tiny Buddha has you covered with 45 excellent tips for loving yourself. Remember, our behaviors influence our those of our little ones. If they see us loving ourselves, that will have a profound impact on their own self-worth and wellbeing.
