December 28, 2017

Dispelling Adoption Myths

We’re almost ready for a new year—that means clean slate, fresh start, new beginnings!

There area many myths about adoptions, and we feel very strongly about dispelling those myths because they create unfair stereotypes and expectations about the adoption process. For those of you considering an adoption plan in 2018, we’ve laid out some of the most popular falsehoods that dominate adoption dialogue, exposing what’s true and what isn’t so you can begin your new adoption process empowered with correct information.

Myth #1: Birth parents can show up at any time to take the child back.

Truth: While there is a period of time in each state, before the birth mother has signed off her rights, that she may rightfully and legally decide not to go through with the adoption, once those rights have been signed off and the adoption is finalized, no birth parent can come back to claim their child. The only exception to this is if the child was adopted illegally or under false pretenses—even then there is no true system or right to reclamation, but that would fall under a different legal jurisdiction.

Myth #2: Adoptions take forever to complete

Truth: While the general time span is 1-2 years (including processes like the home study, matching, and legal documentation), adoptions can happen in as quickly as one day or a couple months—it just depends on your situation.

Myth #3: Adopted children can’t be loved the same as biological children.

Truth: You ask any adoptive parent and see what they say about this.* Incredibly, deeply, profoundly false.

*Note: This is a fear that many adoptive parents have, and they deserve a safe space to explore how they’re feeling without expectation or judgment. It is never appropriate or okay to ask an adoptive parent to measure their love for their child, or to weigh it against feelings they have for a biological child.

Myth #4: Adopted children thrive best with heterosexual parents.

Truth: There is no study, no proof, and no evidence to suggest that adopted children do not thrive beautifully among a diverse array of family situations. In fact, a recent study suggests just the opposite: there is no emotional or physical difference between children of same-sex and heterosexual parents. Just as biological children grow up in myriad different types of homes, and turn out in all sorts of different and wonderful ways, adopted children thrive and exist in the same manner.

Myth #5: You can only adopt a child who is the same ethnicity as you.

Truth: This couldn’t be further from the truth! If you are willing to bring a child into your home and love them, and take care of them and make them your child for life, then there is no limit on who that child can be, where they come from, or how different—physically, ethnically or otherwise—they seemingly are from you. That is the beauty of adoption…every one has the opportunity to become part of the family they deserve. And there is no discrimination in that.