August 30, 2017
Creating An Authentic Adoption Profile
Creating an adoption profile can be nerve-wracking! It’s very challenging, figuring how best to represent yourself, your life, your relationship, and your interests in way that is authentic and compelling. But truly, what it all boils down to is: be yourself. Not what you think someone wants from you, not what you think you should be, but who you are. Here are some tips for creating a genuine profile that is an honest reflection of you and your life.
Speak like yourself! Clichés are a dime a dozen, and as an exercise in authenticity, we would recommend keeping them out of your profile. Stripping time-worn sayings away will force you to communicate your feelings about the adoption process in your own words—who you are, why you want to adopt. That is a unique story no one else can claim, so tell it like it is with your honest words. Speak from your heart, write how you talk, give the birth mother a true sense of who you are and how you communicate. Allowing a birth mother to experience your genuine personality will go miles beyond empty words that have been said time and time again.
Pictures matter. Photos are absolutely essential to a successful adoption profile, so it is vital to consider what each photo is communicating when you are selecting the ones you would like to include. Your photos should clearly represent you (note: selfies can look unprofessional, and often don’t offer a clear picture of what you look like.) It’s important as well that they depict a wide range of activities and moments. Choose photos of you and your partner enjoying activities you love, ones that showcase your life and how you lead it. This is your potential birth mother’s first opportunity to see you and make a connection, so think about the impression you want to make. What would inspire you to connect with someone you’ve never met?
What are your dreams as a parent? This is a very important section, because it illuminates how you intend to parent and what brought you to adoption. The birth mother is choosing a parent for her child, so understanding your goals and desires for parenting is vital. How do you envision your parenting style? Which ideals and experiences are important to you? What have you always dreamed of doing, teaching, and sharing with your child? Your adoption profile is not about making your parental goals sound perfect, it’s about ensuring your goals and parenting ideals communicate who you intend to be as a parent. The right birth mother for you will connect with your ideals as well, and that’s what will make you a perfect match.
Hone in on the details. How did you and your partner meet? What were your childhoods like? Where did you grow up? What are your favorite weekend rituals? Rather than giving a baseline report of the things you like, really dive into the details that make you who you are and separate you from any other couple whose profile a birth mother may also be reading.
Above all, project your wonderful self! Let go and tell your story as it is, because it’s a beautiful one.
