October 22, 2015

Building Our Kids Up

As parents, we have a unique job. Not only to educate our children, and keep them safe, clean, and healthy, but we are responsible for growing and nurturing their precious personalities. Helping to shape their view of the world and themselves, keeping them strong, confident, and sure of who they are. Now of course, we don’t have full control over this. Our children don’t begin as mounds of clay that we are free to shape into whatever human being we choose, but our interaction with them is profoundly important. And it has everything to do with how they grow up to identify themselves in this big, tumultuous world. So how do we build them up, rather than down?

1. Comment on the internal, rather than the external. We live in a world that continues to struggle with judging and discriminating people based on the physical qualities, rather than the nature of their character and who they are inside. Begin with acceptance at home, and encourage others around you to interact with your child in the same way. Instead of commenting on their height, the beauty of their skin, how lovely their hair is, or what they’re wearing, call attention to their manners, their talents, how they make you feel, their intelligence, and any recent accomplishments they’ve had. This focuses on building up their worth from the inside, and it requires that we, and others, relate and respond to our children based on what they’re doing, how they feel, and what they’re contributing to the world around them.
2. Encourage them to develop their talents. Every single child has a unique talent or interest. It may be completely different than anything you’ve ever loved, and that is wonderful, because it’s theirs. Exploring their talents will inherently make them feel good, because they will be involved with something and nurturing a skill that they are good at. And who doesn’t enjoy doing things they successfully accomplish?
3. Understand how they’re different from you. Oh, how hard this can be sometimes. Bottom line: your child may think, react, emote, feel, or behave differently than you — and that’s whether they’re your biological child or not. We cannot understand them solely through the filter of our own behavior or experiences. It is imperative that we understand them for who they are, how they learn, how their brain processes information and emotion. That is the true key to unlocking your child and building their confidence.
4. Show your love. In every way possible. Never stop hugging them, or telling them you love them, or how much they mean to you. Children need the love of their parents, they thrive off it, and are better, stronger, more confident people because of it. It is possible to smother your children, yes, but it is not possible to love them too much. And physical touch is important, too. Snuggle them as much as possible. Up until, of course, they age where they want nothing to do with us ;).

What are ways in which you strive to build your children up? Have you noticed any particular tactics to which they respond most positively?