May 04, 2014

Celebrating Birth Mother’s Day

You might not know this, but the Saturday before Mother’s Day (a week from now) is Birth Mother’s Day. It was created in 1990 and it honors those women who are also mothers, recognizing their selfless choice to give their child the best life possible. It’s a day we deeply respect, and one that we celebrate in our family. We understand that depending on your adoption situation that this may not be a day you celebrate with your birth mother. But for those who do have varying levels of contact, this is a wonderful opportunity to show your birth mother that you recognize her place in your child’s life, and that you acknowledge her motherhood—in whatever capacity that may be.

If you are interested in celebrating Birth Mother’s Day, here are a few ideas for how to mark the occasion:

A special letter, photo, or picture: If you send letters or photos to your birth mother, this is a great opportunity to send her a special one in honor of birth mother’s day. It can be personalized, it can be a special letter from you sharing what your birth mother means to you, or it could be a picture or note drawn by your child, wishing them a happy Birth Mother’s Day and letting them know they’re thinking of them.

Share the love. Even if you don’t have active contact with your child’s birth mother, you can show your support by spreading awareness about Birth Mother’s Day and its intentions. Chances are, those you know outside of the adoption world have never even heard of Birth Mother’s Day. The more people whose minds you open up to this important day, the more birth mothers you potentially touch.

Luncheon, or in-person visit. If your adoption does allow for regular in-person visits, this is a great day for it! Your celebration becomes twofold: not only are you getting to share something you both look forward to, but there’s a wonderful excitement in turning the whole day into one that honors your birth mother and lets her feel as special as she deserves.

Have a moment with your child. Even if you don’t share contact with your child’s birth mother, taking the time to sit down with your child and acknowledge the reality of the day can have a huge impact. Not only does it incite positive discussion about their adoption, but letting them know that there is a special day during which they can celebrate their birth mother could potentially alleviate stress that Mother’s Day might cause. It also shows that you promote acceptance, and it encourages your child’s acceptance of their own adoption. And in the adoption world, we can’t have too much of that.