January 17, 2019

Adoption Resolutions: Using Positive Adoption Language

Continuing our series on adoption resolutions for the new year, today we’re exploring positive adoption language, and how to ensure its rightful place in your adoption process.

Positive adoption language is designed to convey respect, dignity, and equality to the decisions made by the adoptive and birth parents during the adoption process. By weaving this language into our lives and daily conversations, we help dissolve society’s misconception that adoption is a lesser alternative, or second best to the natural birth process. In reality, adoption is another way to build a family. It is two worlds coming together for the greater good of a child.

Incorporating adoption positive language into your life is just common sense. When using the terms “real parents” or “real siblings,” this implies that an adopted family member is not a “real” member of the family. Adoption is not a cavalier choice; there are heart wrenching decisions made by birth parents when choosing adoption for their child. By using the term “give up” or “give away,” we imply that the birth parents made a wrong decision, yet ignore the immensely selfless choice they have made to put their child’s needs before their own. Birth parents are, in fact, showing the greatest form of love by entering on this difficult emotional journey.

While we may have to retrain our minds and those of our friends and family, we can get rid of these archaic and hurtful terms. What we say and how we act says a lot about who we are as people. We can use positive language to not just practice acceptance and objectivity, but to also teach others that adoption is just another way to build a family. We can use this language to acknowledge the tough decisions and feelings that have been made and felt by birth and adoptive parents. By building this language in our lives, we can reflect the true, difficult, and meaningful journey that adoption is.

The way you talk about your child’s journey matters. Adoption is all about love and it is important that we express and teach that same love to others.
For more information and examples on how to establish a more positive form of conversation – visit A Child’s Hope.