May 29, 2017

Adoption Myths That Aren’t True

There are many myths about adoption that simply aren’t true. Spreading lies about adoption skews impressions of what adoption is and how it functions, as well as potentially damaging the expectations of adoptive parents, birth parents, and adoptees. We’re sharing a few with you today to help dispel the falsehoods and illuminate what’s really true.

Myth #1: Birth parents can show up at any time to take the child back.

Truth: While there is a period of time in each state, before the birth mother has signed off her rights, that she may rightfully and legally decide not to go through with the adoption, once those rights have been signed off and the adoption is finalized, no birth parent can come back to claim their child. The only exception to this is if the child was adopted illegally or under false pretenses — even then there is no true system or right to reclamation, but that would fall under a different legal jurisdiction.

Myth #2: Adoptions take forever to complete

Truth: While the general time span is 1-2 years, adoptions can happen in as quickly as one day or a couple months—it just depends on your situation.

Myth #3: Adopted children can’t be loved the same as biological children.

Truth: You ask any adoptive parent and see what they say about this.* Incredibly, deeply, profoundly false.

*Note: what is also not a myth is that it’s actually quite rude to ask this to an adoptive parent. If you are a prospective adoptive parent and this is something you fear, it’s one thing to express that fear to someone who has adopted so you can get their feedback. But straight-up asking an adoptive parent if the love they have for their child is the same as a biological parent’s is never okay.

Myth #4: Adopted children thrive best with heterosexual parents.

Truth: There is no study, no proof, and no evidence to suggest that adopted children do not thrive beautifully among a diverse array of family situations. In fact, a recent study suggests just the opposite: there is no emotional or physical difference between children of same-sex and heterosexual parents. Just as biological children grow up in myriad different types of homes, and turn out in all sorts of different and wonderful ways, adopted children thrive and exist in the same manner.

Myth #5: You can only adopt a child who is the same ethnicity as you.

Truth: This couldn’t be further from the truth! If you are willing to bring a child into your home and love them, and take care of them and make them your child for life, then there is no limit on who that child can be, where they come from, or how different — physically, ethnically or otherwise — they seemingly are from you. That is the beauty of adoption…every one has the opportunity to become part of the family they deserve. And there is no discrimination in that.