August 22, 2018

Adoption and School: Bringing The Conversation Into The Classroom

Where on earth did summer go? Back to school time is here, and that means addressing the adoption conversation. Especially if your little one is beginning school for the first time.

On one hand, this is super exciting time of year. Kids are growing, learning, socializing, getting out of the house, and a daily rhythm and structure are slowly coming back into play. But on the other hand, it can be anxiety-inducing for adoptive parents. How will our children get treated? What will happen when the inevitable school project involving a family tree gets assigned? Will their teacher know how to address and work with adopted kids in a way that is sensitive, respectful, and doesn’t make our kids feel singled out?

In an effort to give your child the safest, happiest possible school experience, here are some ways to positively prep your child and address any concerns with your their teacher.

Reach out to your child’s teacher before the school year starts

This is going to solve a lot of problems. Being able to have a conversation with them, let them know who you are, and fully express your concerns is going to allay so many issues. As well as to give your child’s teacher an opportunity to explore any questions or concerns they may have. This could very well be their first time teaching an adopted child, and based on what they have planned for that year’s curriculum, they may truly appreciate the heads up and opportunity to really make a positive impact.

Go over any potentially problematic school assignments

Are there any school assignments that involve family, lineage, or heritage? If so, talk with your child’s teacher about how to make it an educational experience for everyone, as well as a safe space for your child to explore these topics and succeed in the project.

Offer to come in and give a lesson about adoption

This may not be your thing, or this may be totally up your alley. There is potential for a higher learning experience here, and it could be a really rich addition to the curriculum.

Have a conversation with your child

Part of making your child feel safe at school is creating a safe space for them at home as well. Ask them: what are their concerns? Is there anything that makes them nervous? What are they comfortable discussing and not discussing? Let them know they can always come to you if anything makes them uncomfortable, and that they don’t have to do or talk about anything they don’t want to. Perhaps even come up with some helpful ways for them to respond to questions that make them uncomfortable. Giving them the tools to be comfortable in their identity will create a smoother transition into the life as a student.