Twitter Facebook

Pregnant and scared? How adoption can help

Interested in learning more about adoption?  

An unexpected pregnancy is one of the most challenging circumstances you can find yourself in as a young woman. Suddenly, everything in your life has changed; and even though everyone probably has an opinion to share, you might be feeling terribly alone. When you’re pregnant and scared about your future, it puts you under a lot of stress and strain. You might be struggling to decide whether you should keep the baby, place the baby with an adoptive family, or even have an abortion. Your feelings about it might also change. One day, you might feel close to the baby and like you’re ready to be a mother; another day, like you’re afraid and not ready at all. This is completely normal – these aren’t easy decisions to make. Keeping the baby or having an abortion are often presented as the ‘easy’ and ‘simple’ choices – as though things are black and white, and you’re either going to have the baby, or you aren’t. But you should know that adoption is a real choice for you, too, and one that’s worth considering. Adoption offers a chance at the best possible life – both for you and your baby.

One of the things that scares pregnant mothers when they consider adoption is that they think they’ll be giving up control over what happens to their baby, and that they won’t have any say in the adoption process. But the opposite is true –with adoption, you’ll have control and choices over what’s going on. You’ll be able to choose the adoptive parents and make sure they’re a good fit, so that you know your baby is being placed with a loving, supportive family that you trust. You can also decide your level of involvement with the baby after it’s born. You can choose an “open” adoption, with visits scheduled throughout the year, or a “semi-open” adoption, where pictures and letters are sent to you from time to time. You can also choose a “closed” adoption, where you don’t exchange any information or pictures. The choice is entirely up to you and what you’re comfortable with.

Sometimes mothers are also afraid – or they hear from other people – that choosing adoption means that they didn’t love their child ‘enough’. This couldn’t be farther from the truth. Choosing adoption means that you’ve made an extremely selfless and unselfish choice – you’re placing your child with another family because you love them and you want to give them the best life possible, not because you’re ‘giving them up’. There’s no question that adoption is a difficult choice, and one that no mother makes without serious consideration. It’s easy for people to say that you should keep the baby when they’re not the ones who are pregnant, scared, and facing a decision that will impact the rest of their lives. And most of the people who

 encourage you to keep the baby won’t be there to help when the going gets tough. Remember, you’re not just deciding whether to raise a baby; you’re deciding whether to raise a child for the next 18 years or more.

When you’re pregnant, alone, and trying to make tough choices, it helps to have people to talk to who will support you no matter what you decide. Adoption agencies have counselors who offer help for pregnant women, free of charge, both during and after your pregnancy. These counselors can help you decide whether adoption is right for you, and if you do choose adoption, they’ll be there to talk to even after the baby is born. Adoption agencies can also help with financial aid for pregnant women, and most birth mothers can have their living expenses paid for once they’re committed to an adoption plan. This can help alleviate some of the stress and financial burden you’re facing.

Ultimately, this is a decision that is yours to make; your responsibility is to you and your baby, and not to what anyone else thinks.