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Thoughts for Birth Mothers on Creating an Adoption Plan

Getting pregnant unexpectedly can be a very stressful situation. No matter which options you’re considering, it’s difficult to think and operate under duress. Should you choose adoption for your child, there is research and planning ahead. An adoption plan is 100% yours to control, but where do you start?

Do your research. This is immensely important as you begin your adoption journey. You need a team of trusted professionals to guide you throughout this process. Put time into researching adoption agencies and attorneys who are there to help you. You can do research by joining support groups, setting up consultations with local professionals, and getting referrals from current medical providers. This is your life, and no question is too big or small.

Decide what you want in an adoptive family. This is your chance to instill your values and love into your child’s life. Do you want a family that has no children? A family who has three children? What kind of religious beliefs do you hold and does that make an impact on who you would choose to adopt your child? Remember that your child will inherit your qualities, so find a family that you fit into as well. Make a list of everything you are looking for and prioritize that list. Determine your non-negotiables, and where you’re willing to compromise — that will help you set and manage expectations. 

Prepare and invest yourself. When you’re gearing up for a conversation with a prospective adoptive family, give yourself time to prepare. Arrive with your list of priorities, questions to ask, and an open mind. This is a gift you are giving your child. You deserve all the time you need to make your decision. If you are moving forward with an open adoption, take the time to lay the foundation that you all can build on for years to come.

Remember, there is no true playbook for this process. Trust yourself, and surround yourself with support. You deserve it.