1st Annual Photo Contest

!!! WINNER !!!

Congratulations Catie!  You are the winner of our 1st Annual Photo Contest.  Because you are the winner, you will receive a Canon PowerShot SD1200 IS ELPH digital camera.  We are guessing that Mom and Dad are probably not going to let you play with the camera – but at least you will get to have even more cute pictures taken now.

Thank you to everyone that sent in pictures.  Selecting a winner proved to be a difficult task for the judges.  Keep an eye out for the next photo contest to be held in the spring.

Back to School: Talking to your young one about adoption

Although all children are lovingly inquisitive, during ages 3-5, most kids express a particularly strong interest in trying to understand the world, and, not in the least, where they came from. While many parents discuss having “the talk” with their children, the adoption version of this fated parenting moment isn’t one that’s as widely disseminated. As your child prepares to go back to school, or begin for the first time, it’s a good idea to be prepared for the many questions your child may develop about who they are and where they came from.
 
Questions your child might pose include: “Why did you adopt me?” “Why didn’t my birth family keep me?” “What does my birth family look like?” What’s important is to not overwhelm your child with too much information: answer the question they are asking, and above all else, make sure to reinforce how much they are loved, and how special it is that they were adopted.

When asked, “Why wasn’t I born in your tummy?” Explain to your child that “Mommy and Daddy couldn’t make their own baby, but they wanted a baby to love and care for very much.” If they inquire about why their birth parents gave them up, let them know that “sometimes parents can’t take care of a baby right when they have it, so Mommy and Daddy were lucky enough to choose you to love as our own.”

All children need to feel loved and special, so it’s imperative that you don’t answer around the question. Adoption is a very real fact of life, and there’s nothing wrong with your child, or the situation - your answers should never suggest anything different. If your child understands how they came to be a part of your family, then they’ll feel accepted and loved, rather than different and confused.

Often times, reading books about adoption together helps a great deal. It allows your child to experience another child’s journey with you, in addition to seeing it visually laid out for them in something physical - an integral aspect of how children communicate and retain information at this age.

Above all, don’t be nervous! Keep your answers honest and straightforward, and reinforce the importance of your love for them, as well as their birth family’s love for wanting them to grow up in a loving family. Don’t forget to check out our homepage for our top suggestions of the best adoption books for both you and your children.

Do you have a question for Abby or suggestion for a feature article?  Please let us know at abby@onetruegift.com.  Any comments or feedback is always appreciated.

September Birthdays

Happy birthday to all our September True Gifts!!!

Book Corner

A collection of great readings related to adoption.

Dear Birthmother : Thank You for Our Baby
by Kathleen Silber and Phylis Speedlin

I'm Chocolate, You're Vanilla: Raising Healthy Black and Biracial Children in a Race-Conscious World by Marguerite Wright

Real Parents, Real Children; Parenting the Adopted Child by Holly Van Gulden and Lisa M. Bartels-Rabb

The Complete Adoption Book by Laura Beauvais-Godwin

Adoption Nation: How the Adoption Revolution Is Transforming America by Adam Pertman

Birthmothers: Women Who Have Relinquished Babies for Adoption Tell Their Stories by Merry Jones

Making Room in Our Hearts: Keeping Family Ties Through Open Adoption by Micky Duxbury

Born in Our Hearts: Stories of Adoption by Filis Casey and Marisa Catalina Casey

When Adoptions Go Wrong: Psychological And Legal Issues of Adoption Disruption by Lita Schwartz