September 07, 2017
How Do You Show (Or Plan To Show) Affection To Your Child?
Children require and deserve love. Especially from their parents. Depending on your child’s background and what they’ve been through, they may receive and express emotions in different ways. Having love is easy—it’s expressing it in a way that best resonates with the receiver that takes some work. Whether you have children now, or are planning for them through the process of adoption, here are a few tips for ensuring your affection resonates with your child.
1. Take a step back and try to view things through their eyes. We all receive love in different ways, and what we’re sensitive to differs greatly from person to person. Your child has a different worldview than you because the breadth of their experience and knowledge is different. That doesn’t make their perception or reaction to certain situations any less important, it simply makes them unique. The next time you find communication with your child difficult, try to see the situation through their eyes. What is their perception about what’s going on, and as their parent, how can you respond to that?
2. Give your child an option. This doesn’t have to apply to everything (we can’t be cooking 6 different dinners each night!), but what’s a complaint that children often have? That no one listens to them, or that they’re constantly being made to do things they don’t want to do. You’re still the parent and the primary decision-maker, but take a look at your week and choose a few situations where your child gets to make a choice for the whole family. Maybe it’s what’s for dinner one night, or which movie to watch the next. It doesn’t have to be huge, but it does show that you value their opinion, and that in your family unit everyone’s thoughts and feelings have merit.
3. Don’t compare. There are few things worse than comparing your child to one thing or another, especially their other siblings. Your children are independent beings. The only thing they should be measured against is their own potential.
4. A little spoiling never killed anyone. Few things are better than knowing someone loves you and made a specific effort to go out of their way to show it. And our children are no exception. An afternoon treat, making an exception to a rule, a love note tucked into a lunch box or backpack, a small gift just because. Spoiling doesn’t have to mean grand presents and excessive spending. What it really means is extending yourself outside the norm to show someone how much you care. A little extra love and attention is the best.
5. Show them it’s okay to be different. Being different may not always feel great when you’re a kid, but kids who grow up comfortable with embracing their differences make dramatically more interesting and well-rounded adults. If your child has differences or interests that are off the beaten path, embrace, support, guide, and nurture them. Not only are you teaching them how to be confident, but you’re expanding their worldview and their horizons, as well as their ability to relate to others.
