December 16, 2016

The holidays aren’t easy for everyone

This is an odd time of year, isn’t it? Externally, it’s caked in joy. Every message thrown at us from every possible marketing angle reminds us that this is supposed to be the most magical time of the year, and if it’s not magical for you, well then you are MISSING OUT, because everyone else is having the absolute time of their lives.

But what if you were hoping to have adopted a child by this time, and are still waiting? And it sucks and you hate it?

What if you’re an adopted child, and the holidays brings up really raw emotions, and perhaps some sadness? Even though you love your family and everything “should” be fine?

What if you’re an adoptive parent and your child is really struggling, and their traumatic background does not jive with the “holiday spirit” you’re desperately trying to imbue into your home?

What if you’re a birth parent, and you’re really struggling with your adoption and missing your birth child?

What if you’ve just recently lost someone, and all this holiday is doing is reminding you that they’re gone?

Aside from these circumstances, there are a million other reasons why the holidays may not feel all “happy happy joy joy” to you, and THAT. IS. OKAY.

You are not required to live a life of familial and emotional perfection just because it’s December and all the commercials are telling you to.

You are allowed to grieve your losses, sit with your confusion and sadness, and feel as if maybe on some level (or every level), you wish things were different.

And we hope, more than anything, that you feel like you’re not alone.

If the holidays are tough for you this year, your goal doesn’t need to be to make them perfect. It’s to try and take each day one at a time, live in the moment, and do whatever is best for you. Is that going off the grid, eschewing all tradition, and engaging only what (or who) makes you happy? Maybe it is. Perhaps it’s finding joy in your community, reaching out to those around you for support and love and camaraderie.

Perhaps it’s about giving back. Sometimes our darkest moments are saved by engaging in those who are less fortunate than us. It’s incredible the way those experiences breed exactly the sense of community we’re so desperately craving.

But no matter what, if this holiday just totally sucks for you, we HEAR you. We are WITH you, and you’ve GOT this. Surround yourself with the best people you’ve got and find a way to remind yourself of what’s good in your life. Above all — YOU DESERVE IT.